Lately, I have been proving myself wrong in many ways, mostly in the sense of my personality differing from what I have always described it as. I have always been a planner, and I still am in some ways, like with long-term goals. But this year seems to be a time of quick decision making, such as moving back from Denver, moving into a rental home (photos from around the house), starting my own business, and more. It’s been a lot of excitement, but at the same time it has left me in a state of mind where I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. I haven’t had the much needed time to digest each decision and really take in what is happening. It’s been kind of a scary thing for me! Luckily, everything is working out fine so far; my mind just needs to take some time to catch up with what my body is doing. I know how important it is to enjoy the journey of life events such as these and I really want to have that appreciation for the present time in which I am living.
After coming to this realization, I have definitely been able to clear some of the doubts in my mind. Those doubts like, “should I really follow through with this business thing?” (only because our income was a bit less than we wanted it to be to save for a house, then I realized it was definitely worth it), or “maybe we should just buy a house rather than build…” (again, I realized it will be worth it!). These doubts tend to creep up when I am exhausted and stressed like I had been the last few weeks. Once I had a tiny bit of time to sit and think and discuss them with Connor, we realized anything worth doing is not going to come easy, or quickly for that matter. So I decided not only is it time to slow down and give myself the opportunity to fight my fears rather than trying to suppress them, it is also time to slow down and see how far we have come and be okay with the fact that some things just take time! I am working hard mentally to change that timeline in my head that says I need to start building a house this year and have a fantastic business at the same time. Of course it is dreamy to think about, but really not practical in reality. All we can do is work toward those goals and in time, they will be achieved.
In the meantime, there is always so much to be thankful for, we just need to soak it in and count our blessings, even the small ones. There will be a time to stress about the happenings in life, and it is easy to get caught up in trying to keep up with everyone around you. But remember to take a deep breath every once in a while, focus on yourself and do the best you can.